Yesterday I was parent helper in my sons classroom.
Then I came home and painted and uploaded my new business logo, all before mid-day. (In stark comparison to a business logo three years ago which took a couple of months to tweak).
Then I rushed out to hire a costume for my husband for a fri night party, all the way chatting with my new girlfriend and potential business partner (who joined me for a shop) about everything from lingerie to a very exciting business plan for next year.
I arrived home in time for the ‘school pick up’ run.
I was buddy, mamma, mediator and friend for my sons for three hours (felt very blessed that that involved going to knit in a beautiful nature spot for 20min whilst my son played alongside me in his secret bush cubby, behind our house.)
This was followed by cooking a yummy dinner, welcoming hubby, and more mediating, mothering and nurturing, all the while strategically planning to build a business which frees hubby and I of corporate work so I can write, speak, love and hopefully even one day home school my kids. These are my loving goals and I don’t try for any less!!
And then my boys burst through living room and house in a squealing roll of giggle wrestles, instantly transforming the floor from ‘haven’ to looking like a teenagers bedroom as they pass (It’s quite an art form actually, I don’t even know how they do it so quickly).
Nevertheless I am happy that they have found their ‘best buddy zone’ after some difficult ‘screen time withdrawal symptoms’ and let them ride it for a couple of hours. Until one of them get hurt, which leads to another bout of patient parental assistance.
And then my boys, bless their hearts, proceed to ask for more. More screen time, more toys, more treats in their lunch, and a costume that actually looks good (I admit, I kind of bummed out on that one).
And I explain patiently that I love them and am giving my all, and have done so with every moment of my day. And I try to remind them to appreciate me and what they’ve got.
And eventually the tears come out on the couch and in the bed. (first softly, and then later in bed, loudly) And my Ben looked up at me so earnestly and lovingly and said ‘sorry mummy, I love you!’. And when my exhausted overworked husband had time to drop in and see me he hugged me so very deeply and said ‘I love you and I’m sorry for not having seen the effort you put into trying to find me a costume and everything else’.
And I remember to let the beautiful little tears open my heart just that little bit more. To remember that those little tears are like the juice of life, the juice of expansion!
And today I really experience that my three do see me, and deeply appreciate me.
Yet either way.
Today I say ‘No’ (more tears come as I write this)
No more. I do give my all and I’m taking myself out for a nurturing coffee and cake and a journal and life can wait.
I wouldn’t trade my life for a thing, it is the absolute best life in the world!
And still, everyone can wait while I have a long cafe sit with a French boysenberry pastry, a decaf cappuccino and a pen! (the photo is from my cafe sit)
If you enjoyed this article, you might also like to read about how Scott Fry from his highly successful company “Loving Earth” navigates conscious business.