Anyone who has ever played with social media knows that this can be a hugely empowering experience at times, and yet posting can also leave us hanging and emotionally unsupported.
It took me a few years to start making sense of this and I’d like to offer it for discussion coz I think it’s important, and still want more input.
For the purpose of this conversation, let’s simplify ‘sharing’ to three categories
-’WOUNDS’ (sharing about an unresolved emotional hurt)
-’INNOCULATIONS’ (sharing about a ‘healed wound’ which can become a cure for others)
-’SHININGS’ (sharing an offering, a gift, or a statement which uplifts, encourages and / or creates connection)
We naturally share our open wounds when we go to a counsellor, in the wee hours with our partner, with a close friend or with an expert.
We often feel compelled to share our ‘innoculations’ (wounds for which we have experienced the cure) as a way of helping others who are going through what we have emerged from.
But should we choose to take our open wounds to the random ‘bazaar’ for social media and hope for support?
Sometimes this is appropriate. E.g. in a sudden accident (e.g. a car accident) the best thing is often to make ourselves visible so we can receive support from anyone nearby who is able (and we can do a similar thing with sudden emotional upheavals using social media world).
However, if we continue to take our wounds to the public this can also make us vulnerable to people who have neither chosen to take a supportive role with us, nor have the ability to. And that can be far from fun! (i.e waiting for likes on something that is actually one of our most tender points)
And so do appropriate boundaries.
I am all for sharing the grit and the hard stuff. I love it! I think that transparent sharing has the power to unravel the knots of the world. But if we are going to share our big hurts with an uncensored audience, it might be best to wait until we have at least somewhat emerged from them.
I believe in gifting freely where it is welcome, and asking to receive in little enclaves where people are most able to support us. I.e. taking our wounds to those more able than us, and our offerings and healing insights to those who need it.
I.e. If we want to empower ourselves quickly (without risking being winded by unconscious responses of people who aren’t able to hold our needs) then it is worth learning to gift freely, but share our wounding when and where it is appropriate.
What do you guys think? (Comment below)