One of the challenges I have had is focus.
Sometimes I have big dreams, which electrify me and turn my whole spirit on.
And yet, they are such a paradigm shift, such a previously unchartered creation, that I dont know where to start. So do I just plod along and wait for the answer to come to me? And what if three new projects come to me in the meantime? What then?
And then there are my previously concieved projects, where the next steps have become simpler, and more predictable. For example I’m writing a book on sacred relationship and really thats quite a straight forward project, just write, write write, a few pages here and there, as it comes to me.
Yet even this hasn’t always felt so straight forward. I remember that shortly after birthing my book idea, I happend to feel like I was confronting all of my own inadequacies regarding sexuality.
I continue to come back to thinking it is like gardening (this thing I am doing, some might call it ‘entrepreneurship’, personally I think that ‘living all of the things I really want to live and give before I die’ is a more accurate description).
And I keep coming back to the sense that it is kind of like gardening. Some of my idea babies are electrifyingly springing into thoughtforms, for the very first time, just now, but they are still just seeds, needing to germinate and gestate, before the next step, the push forward, becomes clear.
Some ideas have gestated, and I now find myself feeling like I am dealing with every obstruction I have ever had in relation to these ideas. e.g. I step out again and again to speak for, and coach sensitive souls, and suprise suprise, at times feel extremely sensitive doing so. Its like the shoot, the sprout, has to push up against the casing, find such strong embodiment, that it can push past whatever limiting belief has shielded this idea from the world before now.
And some ideas have previously already birthed, and put out leaves, and the path feels relatively regular and clear. Chop wood, carry water, put out a new leaf, respond to inquiries, manage my growing database, blog, chop more wood, respond to clients, etc.
And then there are the growth spurts which suddenly seem to hit a cieling or a limitation. A thriving workshop suddenly seems to lose momentum, a strategy which was going great guns three months ago, suddenly seems hollow and ‘contrived’. This is where we realise that a new level of growth is required, time to put the tap root down, past that seemingly obstructing rock, time to get some direct input from spirit, to recharge and align.
Anyways, previously I have worried that I might have a problem with focus, but when I see things the way nature sees them, I see that I am always focused, always growing towards what most excites me, and stopping by the way to collect resources.
My problem is not ‘focus’, but that I sometimes only COUNT THINGS AS FOCUSSSED when they grow in a linear, predictable fashion.
But gardens and ecosystems do not grow linearly, yet they grow unstoppably, spurting out from every leaf, every next available outcropping.
So lets trust in the voice of our passion, the essence of our own unique creative force.
And nourish each idea, when and where it is at, wildly, regulary, naturally.
As the expert creators we are, in this strangely imperfect yet perfect universe we find ourselves in.