Like yapping dogs, hunger takes our attention to what may or may not be in front of us, when in actual fact, the true path to success is maintaining presence on what is in us. Yet, I think that harnessing the power of ‘hunger’ (aka desire), is key to success in business, sex, love and life. Here is my recent personal experience on this, tell me if you agree!
26/09/16 Three days in I abandon my attempt at a week long lemon water fast. I feel passionate about learning whatever the spiritual masters were on about, when they ‘got off’ on this fasting business. Nevertheless, head-achy and constipated, on day three I decided that ‘I love to eat’, and a little bowl of gluten free ravioli was too hard to say no to (no matter that it’s not the ideal way to break a fast).
And yet, something special did happen in my novice attempt to fast (I admit I did eat very small amounts each day – I’m not very hardcore).
1) I slowed down….. 2) I said no to the ‘hunger response’
3) I became present in my body
And I learned inexplicably and undoubtedly, that these three occurrences ARE LINKED.
It was a tangible experience of slowing down, the dramatic reduction in intake was a jolt to my system and was not without a little light headedness, such that it took much more effort to do my usual tasks.
So I did one thing at a time. Slowly. With long pauses.
And when I sat down in my hammock I noticed a small pretty spider in my peripheral vision.
And when I crouched to ‘water the lemon tree’ I noticed tiny bugs, flitting from grass stalk to grass stalk.
Three birds caught my attention as they soured the sky, unusually large, I wondered what they were and why I’d never seen them before.
I linked background screeching to two gorgeous red birds who were alighting in the gum behind our block. And then all at once, I noticed all the leaves everywhere moving in unison and a wave of ecstasy breezed through my soul.
It was fascinating to feel such a dramatic increase to my awareness of the present moment, without even trying! I was just PRESENT.
And I could attribute this to the fact that my body had slowed down, that my organs were conserving energy and so I was acting with more hesitation. But it was more than that.
I have always known intrinsically that it is the blind and unfettered grasping for objects of my hunger which takes me out of my body, and out of my presence and power.
Desire and Presence. Desire and Presence. This is the game of tantra, but it is also the game of business, love, and self actualisation. Like a tight rope walker we must learn to balance between these two experiences. (Even now as I write this, I feel a tension in my body in my eagerness to get this new blog idea out, and yet I know, that forsaking the relaxation in my own body for the sake of this giddy eager excitement, is the very thing which disconnects me from the most empowered words, which arise like a fountain, from the birthplace of deep presence).
Again I attempt, I practice; Desire and Presence, Desire and Presence.
Hiding from desire is not the solution. You name it, here are some of many examples of hiding;
- Overdue term of residence in a corporate job – to the point where it makes you sick to think of going (Been there)
- Shying away from talking to the entrepreneur friends who, when I was truly honest with myself, used to make me really really jealous (did that for a few years)
- Wanting my partner to go to the other room while he eats his juicy, dripping with spice LAMB KORMA during my fast.
- Or even, asking hubby not to look at the pretty ladies in bikinis.
No, we think that numbing or shutting down desire might keep us safe (from the wild crazy goose chase of awakening), but actually it’s only a guarantee of just that, THAT IT WILL NUMB OUR DESIRE. In fact, personally I see desire as a powerhouse to our individual growth. Thus I think that numbing it is like shutting down our own personal powerhouse!
Thus I try to feel myself salivate as my partner chews tender pieces of slow cooked, Korma drenched lamb beside me. I feel the call in my loins as the sexy divine man surrenders to me in dance for a moment.
And I get excited, scramble over myself to write about my new idea or passion. I wake at 2am to write some more, and then even more.
And THEN I stop
And realise I have been once again taken by the great illusion, I have seen the carrot outside of me, rather than in me, in my giddy eagerness to chase and pursue.
And I pause (which looks like frequent small attempts to fast from sugar or fb or letting myself land and find balance after a particularly sexy dance, or a brief fasting from any other activity which can become giddily all encompassing for me- admit it, you’ve been there too!)
And I STOP
(I have learned that if I have a choice between doing something which increases my ‘desire’ and doing something that lessens my desire, I choose that which increases it, whilst doing my utter best to stay present to each moment, each experience within my body without grasping. Yet if I fail, yet again, no harm – as I have the willingness, to pause, and stop, and find presence.)
And it is at that knife edge where I say yest to BOTH desire and presence, that I find my true power.
If you enjoyed this, you might also like to read “Soul Goal”