I thought I would share this question with this blog audience, coz its a great one:
‘I have been giving of myself for 50 free sessions coaching clients with self, esteem and life purpose, life balance and mindset, which has been so fulfilling and I’ve learnt heaps, but I feel ready and would really like to know how to find my first paying client!’
Here’s my answer, feel free to add to this in the comments if you have further insights.
In my experience, creating wholesome client relationships is similar to creating wholesome relationships. When we are dating, we learn to give of ourselves, but also honor our own energy (for example we may choose not to give our whole body to another until we feel their commitment to reciprocate). I think its similar with coaching (or counselling or any type of 1:1 practice), we give of our beautiful gift, and then wait till we receive a response which honors our level of gifting before we give more. A free session is a great way to offer ourselves and gain confidence and skills. It is a beautiful gift in and of itself, but to an eligible person, it is also a ‘first date’ for a possible, ongoing and incredible relationship.
In our free session, as on our first dates, it is important to communicate on some essential things.
1) That we respect our own energy and will not headlong pursue someone who does not value us. On a date we may communicate this with our energy, and in a free session we can even be a little more articulate about it. One way of communicating this is simply to let our potential client know, that we will only work with them, if we feel there is a good match between them and us.
2) We will want to discern whether our client committed. Firstly, do they like our style? i.e. Are they committed to us personally? We can start to discern this by asking direct questions. For example we can ask ‘What drew you to respond to me or my offer? or ‘What draws you to work with me?’. Secondly, are they committed to their own personal development journey? Here we can simply ask ‘How much, how strongly do you want to achieve this goal of yours?’. If we get a sense that they are not committed, then we are doing both them, and ourselves a dis-service by pursuing the relationship.
Phew, who would have thought my two main interests were so interrelated, sexuality and coaching?
Anyways, that’s it from me for now. Let me finish with this thought on both sexuality and coaching.
The art form is learning how to create life changing, incredible relationships.